Things which inspire my rage
- People using self-checkout lines.
Maybe I missed my calling as a checkout operator, but I can manage to scan, bag, and pay for my entire order while most people are still irretrievably flummoxed by the indecipherable gibberish emitting from some unknown fount of mystery. What mysterious incantations send them into a whirl of befuddlement? “Please put the item in the bag”.
Why is this hard? Why do people stand, heads cocked like the RCA Victor dog, as the machine plainitively begs, “please put the item in the bag”? What is the incomprehensible element here? PUT THE ITEM IN THE DAMNED BAG. Some move the items in slow-motion, like they’re bagging priceless crystal; others, thinking the machine must yearn for a closer connection to the products they’re buying, forcefully mash the product into the scanner without actually moving the UPC in relation to it.
Why. WHY? If I were the poor bastard tasked with the UI focus groups on those things, I would have been committed by now. Almost all the users stab indiscriminately at the screen, not reading, not listening, in a sort of doe-eyed daze, before being rescued by the supervisor who now has to run four lines instead of one.
- Autism conspiracy nutballs.
Is the 9/11 “truth” movement too mundane for you? Are you incapable of dealing with mountains of clinical research that says childhood vaccines have precisely dick-all to do with autism? Do you fail to recognize that a chemical compound *made* from a element is *not the same* as that element by itself, demonstrating a lack of even middle-school level science understanding? (God help them when they find out that table salt has chlorine in it.) Do you think Jenny Mccarthy is a deep fountain of scientific knowledge? Then you might be the idiot that left a card in my shopping cart, advertising DVDs that propose to tell me all about how vaccines are evil. Yeah. Good luck with that one. Oh, and good luck dying of measles. Dumbass. I’m not including the link – I’m not sending her stupid, pre-fab MLM site any more ad revenue.
While I actually think I’m pretty good at the self check-out thingy (even though i usually use the regular lines.. because i dont like the idea that 4 jobs have been suddenly changed to 1… DOWN WITH THE ROBOT REVOLUTION)
You’d probably hate me if I had veggies.
It’s not hard, and you’re smart. Click “Look Up”. Then there’s pictures of veggies. You push the one you want. You push how many you have. OH NOES CANNOT COMPREHEND HALP
I used to operate, *ahem*, supervise the U-Scan at Bi-Lo. It was dreadful. I can still hear me yelling it now, “Stop leaning on the bagging area! You’re throwing the machine off!” Then, the kicker was when I had customers walk up to me asking if I could process their order at the supervising station. I refused one customer stating that it defeated the purpose of the U-Scan (U=You thus You Scan), but was rebuffed by my manager telling me to “just do it.”
@riney
yea, but that takes a while doesn’t it? especially if youre like me and consistently buy veggies that are on the way back end of the veggie picture parade.
@Rachel
Hmm… this gives me an idea…… CHECKOUT RACE